If there is one thing we as humans need that one thing are friends! Friends and social connections are what make us human. When I started university some six years ago, making friends (which I lacked in high school) was my number 1 priority.
I succeeded in making many awesome friends in university leaving my old lonely high school days behind. At the same time there were many mistakes I made in making friends and I hope you learn from my mistakes so you don’t make them yourselves. And below is the first major friendship mistake I made!
Friendship Mistake 1: Quantity Over Quality
As much as having a ton of friends is wonderful, let’s face it you can never be friends with everyone. In fact not everyone will make the greatest friends. In my freshman to sophomore years I had a ton of people I called friends ranging from various campus clubs to my lectures. I was so happy and on top of the world since my social life had reached it peak.
As with all peaks though a decline in my social life took place during my third and fourth years on campus. You may be wonder why the decline? The answer is, I emphasized having many (quantity) friends over having the best (quality) friends.
While it is true that I had many friends in university not all of them were quality friends. Since the purpose of friends are to influence/inspire and help one another grow I realized many of my friends had negative qualities and nasty habits e.g. Pessimism, wasteful spending, complaining, aggression and unreliability, traits I didn’t want to adopt.
I felt like among my huge group of friends I was an outsider since I was at odds with their lifestyle and I couldn’t grow close to them since I refused to indulge in much of their activities, habits and qualities which I personally found distasteful.
Having been very naive during my first two years at university it was in my third year, I realized that your character is largely built on who you spend your time with. Since my goal in life since my third year is to be of upright character, optimistic, giving, loyal, trustworthy, kind, and honest my up till then huge quantity of friends lacked such character.
I decided to make the painful choice of politely distancing myself from my previous multitude of friends choosing to keep my friendship circle small yet high in quality.
While the choice to distance myself from my previous huge posse (I still miss them to this day) was a very emotionally difficult choice to make it was for the better! Today my friends are fewer but have all the great character traits (optimistic, giving, loyal, trustworthy, kind, and honest) which I am in turn adopting.
Fewer Yet High Quality Friendships Are What Enhance Your University And Social Life!
Also with fewer quantity I have more time to focus on growing closer with these friends along with more me time to develop my personal character, achieve my personal goals and of course keep up with school!
The key to having meaningful friendships and a deep social life in university is quality over quantity! I hope that this blog post has inspired you and has been of some help to you. I advise you to also focus on making quality friendships over quantity so that you can grow in your campus life without making the mistakes I made!